Directors love the cinematography of a heavy cavalry charge against a fixed defence. Nostrils flaring, spears bobbing, riders bellowing; all in, hell for leather.
No matter how many reassurances of no horses being hurt roll in the credits, the cataclysmic smash of armour and equus after the gallop is a crowd pleaser.
Dave Rennie has his troops in stirrups: each ruck is trench warfare, obeying rigid command and control to carry into contact, shift the ball via tip passes at close quarters, and shock the defence with the sheer impact of Clydesdale cleaners.
The hierarchical ranks of the All Blacks is obediently funnelled into shock and aura collisions, to overwhelm defenders and cross the deep moats around the South African Castle laager, and dream of old-fashioned victories in Johannesburg, Cape Town and … ahem … Baltimore!
To “save the soul” of the warlike sport we love, to rescue rugby from riot and ruin by that rebel renegade rogue Rassie.
Luke Jacobson, Tupou Vaa’i, Ardie Savea, Quinn Tupaea, Asafo Aumua, and Ethan Blackadder will dig deep into the stirrups, squeeze saddles, put blinkers on and ride into the fray, to create paths for the ponies.
But the Springboks have moved on from big naked berserkers, laborious technical trebuchets, siege-proof lineout walls, and the longbow of spiral High Veld punts.
Rennie’s ruck-a-thon will ride into a choked drone zone, a decentralised and rapid innovation cycle of lethal counters, the scrum an asymmetric force thought extinct, but revived with software and hardware from rugby pilgrims of the North.
He has locks. Rennie always has locks.
Fabian Holland, Sam Darry, Patrick Tuipulotu, and Josh Lord: big, fast, mean and ready to rumble.
All of it just waiting on Cam Roigard, the best scrumhalf in the world at the moment.
Cavalry - the biggest and most percussive the world has ever seen - versus a bunch of annoying drones.
The Boks have expanded the game and in so doing, shrunk it: cubic space is there for those who see real time pictures and can commit to volume over traditional roles.
A lock who chases, a flank who tips back, a little lekkerback wing who counter rucks, a big centre who defends mauls, a flyhalf who tries to run over a tight forward or dummies a no-look instep kick-pass and whirs into a 360 for no apparent reason.
Cognisant the scrum is often neutered by conventions and treaties, props are picked for far more than pushing power.
Young Zach Porthen, a few years ago Wynberg Boys head prefect, is the first Bok tighthead with dreadlocks. Locks dread tackling him.
Ox Nche’s cake recipes are dense: a degree in statistics allows him to chat with the Bok analysts about attack.
The age of charge was superseded by projectile warfare which was overcome by armour which was left behind by oil-powered vehicles that were left smoking in the roads by aerial war, recently applied to swarms of drones cutting all time and space to traces of what used to be a ‘front’.
The blitz defence specifically preaches disconnection: a buzzing exploratory shoot by Jesse Kriel or likely Bok captain Pieter-Steph du Toit which funnels foes into a kill zone featuring the likes of Porthen (the highest dominant tackle percentage in the URC for any Saffa) and old mates Eben Etzebeth, Jasper Wiese, and Malcolm Marx.
Add a highly mobile successor to Kwagga Smith by the name of Paul de Villiers, a fetcher barely 1.8 metres tall and 100 kg, the fittest Bok in camp per Rassie. He is a scavenger in the mould of Deon Fourie, both of whom practice lineout throws to play hybrid hooker; revolutionary reserves.
Andre Esterhuizen is a 6-12, Jan-Hendrik Wessels is a 1-2, Damian Willemse is a 15-12-10-11, Sacha Feinberg-Mngomezulu a 10-12-15, Cheslin Kolbe kicks goals and plays scrumhalf, Ben-Jason Dixon and Cobus Wiese are lock-flank-locks, and Thomas du Toit is a swing prop.
An efficient machine in which all parts are other parts or close to it; against the noble knights insisting on restoring the old wars.
The All Blacks will wage a war of attrition and nutrition: but the same redline CPR (carry-ruck-pass) which can exhaust a defence will likely keep sending riders back home as well.
Meanwhile, all lekkerbacks can do the job, and hybrids use less fuel.
The 66 minutes against the Stormers (6 of 7 drones successful, with Seabelo Senatla trouncing the bomb defuse team solo) is more dispositive: stalemate against a team with less than twenty cumulative Test caps.
A frolic in a monsoon at Durban and a mad caper at Loftus with the Bulls refusing to fly their drones (only 2 contestable kicks!) is one way to get ready for a mad dog swarm.
Meanwhile the reserve Drone Squad kept Argentina scoreless for 71 minutes in Buenos Aires, whilst the game day Boks beasted, scrummed and chased for 5 miserable days at altitude, perfecting kick space and chip space and grubber lanes.
Preparation can make a big difference.
Catch Harry Jones with MW Welman on the Lekker Rugby Pod - only on Megafoon Rugby!
High quality piece of writing Harry. You really do have a gift with words.
Personally I think that the Boks should be hot favourites. It's a very mature set up with the coach and most of the first choice team, especially the forwards, together for a long time and only one or two of the eight in their 20s. And obviously they're the best in the world. Whereas Rennie is brand new and most of his forwards are in their 20s. It's a huge ask, especially away from home.
BTW I watched one of your Lekker videos. Maybe it feeds your core market, but for me the whining voice, complaining about the Eden Park ref and writing off of certain All Blacks were pretty unclassy by your standards. Just a bit of friendly feedback and I have absolutely no problem with your technical analysis or praising the world number ones.
Nice article Harry. I think the Boks will target the AB’s potential weaknesses. ‘What weaknesses?’ I hear the Kiwis asking. Could be a big game for whoever runs on in the Black’s 15 jersey. And their scrum. Will be interesting, that’s for sure.